Just a Kid

I love having sons. They are so funny and full of creative energy that I wish I could bottle up and instill in myself. But honestly, having two little boys, so close in age (18 months) can make me feel like the ring leader of a circus act. Or maybe my oldest is the ringleader since he loves to tell everyone what to do ( "directing" as he calls it) and I am just the clean up crew. You know the ones..the poop scoopers, animal feeders, garbage collectors, etc. Yep, "clean up crew" better defines my role in this family circus...

I've been reading a great book lately, called Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys. It's quite comical to hear strait from a male therapist's mouth (and father of sons) that neither moms nor dads understand what goes on inside a little boy's mind. They are a creator all their own and nurturing them is an art form. One I have not mastered, but am more bravely rising to the challenge lately.

A few days ago, Jackson and I were in the garden together letting him burn off some of that "creative energy" and I enjoyed a few precious moments of watching him climb a tree, stick in hand, singing the most fitting song possible. "I'm just a kid with a head full of dreams and a dream full of things to get done. All of my life it's been spinach and greens and I'm ready to have me some fun. Oh I've never captained my own pirate ship, laden with Spanish dab-loons....but hey, it ain't even noon!"

Congo-Part 3 (Our last day)

Our last day in Congo was the best and hardest of all. Our translator brought F & J to us, to spend most of the day together. On the car trip over, F had got sick all over himself and our translator's bag. It was probably a compilation of just eating, no AC, bad traffic, parasites in his tummy, and nerves. Thankfully, some sweet friends we made there lent us an outfit of their son's to wear.

The same friend's son is the same age and from the same orphanage. So it was really helpful to have a familiar friend to play with while mama and papa got acquainted with them. It's so challenging not being able to communicate. The experience gave us an idea of how we need to plan and prepare for their coming home. It will be a big adjustment for them on top of learning a new language. From what we've heard from others, they learn so quickly and start to blossom and thrive within just a few short weeks. Those reports are encouraging and we are eager to start that journey.

We spent a little time playing in the bar of the convent and letting their tummies settle. Then we headed around the block to the shopping market which also holds two restaurants inside. I carried J, in part because her shoes were way too tight for her feet. She has the longest feet, which match her off-the-chart height for her age! She might be taller than all her brothers someday! Kit and F walked hand in hand down the block. Kit and I would glance at him and at each other with a smile. He has quite the little hop in his step and walks with a confident little swagger. He is very sure footed and coordinated for his age. (His daddy was way excited about the prospects!)

We ordered a full size dinner for them to share of saucy beef and rice. They devoured it!! I'm talking every grain of rice was off that plate by the end of lunch. The only thing they didn't seem to like was peas. Ok, so it's a universal issue then! It was pretty cute because we noticed that they would pick them out, put them in their left hand, and slowly lower it under the table to drop it on the floor. All the while, looking up at us for our reaction. It took some convincing that we didn't mind and eventually we just picked all the peas out and piled them to the side.

After lunch we shopped for some toys and headed back to the bar in the convent (I still love the sound of that) to play and rest. Up till this point, they hadn't really said a thing. They were very quiet and shy until everyone left the room except me. Then, as if on cue, they began chattering to one another in their heart language and teasing each other by taking one another's toys. (Oh they will surely fit in with their new brothers :) ) They would giggle and give a shy smile when they saw me watching them. J then pulled out a tiny piece of buiscut (cookie) she'd been saving in her dress pocket and offered some to her brother. How they could still be hungry, I have no idea! We played for a little while just the four of us, until J finally gave up and fell asleep in my lap. Kit almost had F asleep on the floor when it was time to leave.

We had plans to go to a traditional Congolese dinner at our orphanage director's house with another American couple and their son (the friends I mentioned before). In consistant fashion, our driver was about 1.5 hours late and when he finally showed up, a HUGE storm hit. Kinshasa is right on the Congo River and the streets quickly began to flood. What topped it off was that our car had NO windshield wipers. How he lasted to the near end of rainy season without them is beyond me. So (already 1.5 hours late) we crawled through the streets of downtown Kinshasa, until we lost the car we were following and got stuck in a river of a road. The flooding was so bad, locals were taking pictures over the fence of all the cars that were stuck. We came to understand why so many vehicles we'd seen were SUV's and had vertical exhaust pipes.

The down pore eventually slowed enough for our driver to see enough to reverse out of that flooded road, dodging traffic on both sides of us. But not without the car's floor board (and my purse) completely flooding. (I was so thankful that I decided at the last minute to leave my camera back at the room.) To top it off, our car was out of gas. Thankfully there was a station at the end of the street and after a quick fill up and only one giant "curb check", we were on our way. Because we'd lost the car we were following, we then headed to a main road where our driver got out to wipe down his windshields and get directions. But he was stopped by some reporters who shot some video of us and gave him a quick interview. I was beginning to see why this sweet man was always so late.

At this point, F stood up in the middle of the back seat (they still hadn't said a word or barely moved a muscle) and propped his arms across the back dash, propped up one leg and 'surveyed'. He stood like this for the next hour as we drove to dinner. Kit and I were pretty amused by him and just wondering what was going on inside his head. So much to go through and soak up for such a little guy.

We enjoyed a delicious traditional Congolese dinner of chicken, fish, FuFu (sp?, a giant dough ball thing which is a staple in much of Africa), a banana plantain dish, boiled potatoes,  and casava leaves (similar to spinach). We really enjoyed meeting the director, as with the rest of the orphanage staff. F and J again ate their weight in food. Their poor tummies had quite a day! It's a pretty cute site to watch them methodically pinch off a piece of Fufu, roll it up in their hand, pinch it with some casava leaves or fish and put it down. I almost cut their fufu in half to share, but they both nearly polished theirs off. I think they reached max capacity and both ate more than I could.

Leaving the dinner with full bellies and tired kiddos, we made the long foreboding drive back to the orphanage. They each fell asleep in our arms as we pondered our time with them and what this visit must have been like for them. I wondered what they would be thinking in the morning when we've gone back to India and they are back to waiting for mama and pappa to bring them home. Saying goodbye was nothing short of painful.

We're praying the months are short in number and our kiddos thrive in their temporary home, until they can finally join their forever family. This trip was the end of a long wait for us--to find out who our kids are-- and the beginning of a more difficult wait for us all. Waiting for the last 'waiting' to end and for our lives together to officially begin.

Congo Part 2 (Thursday, the Big day!)

Thursday-We were supposed to leave for the orphanage at 11am, but in DRC local standard time, that means 1pm. While we waited, we were able to visit with our translator/liaison and learn more about Congolese culture. It’s been fun to talk about Congolese, Indian, and American cultural differences with her.

When our kiddo’s social worker arrived, he and our liaison took us first to the orphanage’s office. Driving through Kinshasa was very interesting. It’s a city of about 10 million, but unlike Indian cities where it feels like everyone is living on top of each other, Kinshasa feels a lot more spread out. It also has a feel of high security. Lots of government buildings, embassies, and housing communities hide behind tall walls with barbed wire and broken glass at the top.

Most people are walking for transportation and those that aren’t, are cramming into 3 row vans with the doors wide open and stragglers hanging off the side and back. These vans are the main local transportation and what our translater takes everyday to come to the Convent where we were staying. She's amazing! 

We were so impressed with all of the orphanage's staff. The director, social workers, and even the "mama's" at the orphanage were all so sweet and obviously passionate about caring for the children and finding loving families for them. While at the office, in the midst of our overflowing excitement, we got a vivid look at the flip side of adoption. There was one young and obviously extremely poor and grieved mother there with her young child, waiting to be counseled. There was a small group of about 5 very young and very scared siblings who had been abandoned and were waiting to go to the orphanage. Adoption is beautiful, but it doesn't necessarily start out that way. It's labored in pain, fear, grief, hunger, and desperation. But as my heart breaks for those 5 and for our 2, and the other 70+ kids we met that day...I find great comfort in knowing that God loves the orphan. He sets the lonely in families. He can make beautiful things out of dust. And I pray He does that for this group of precious children of almost 80. 

When we arrived at the orphanage (about 1 hour away), they were eating lunch so we waited in a small office at the front of the compound. We got to admire the pictures of families who had already come to bring their children home and looked forward to our family pic adorning that wall soon. 

When we walked into the main room, the kids were all lined up in chairs and singing a lively Lingala song. Several of the girls rose to dance, hands on hips, rocking back and forth. It was so precious! I wish I could show you a video of it. They went on to sing "Here I am to Worship" in English (ironically the same English song that is favored by some kids at an orphanage here whom we visit) and then ended with another Lingala song that basically says "Don't cry ____ you are going to America!" over and over again :) We didn't have the heart to say "actually you're going to India!" We'll cross that bridge when we get there :)

Our kiddos "J" and "F" (I'll share names after the court hearing) were right up front and we recognized them immediately! They were both being very shy and sweetly trying to hold each other's hand while the other pushed it away. They have very similar nervous mannerisms. They both kept looking down, fiddling their hands together at the hem of their shirt. When they would look up, they'd give a big smile with their tongue rolled between the sides of their teeth. 

We got a grand tour of the orphanage and had some time alone with our kiddos in the office to give them a few gifts and show them pictures of their new family. We found out they speak a different Congolese language than Lingala so even our translator could only communicate a little with them. They will learn quickly and probably be fluet by the time we pick them up and begin teaching them English. They'll be tri-lingual in their first few years of life!

It's amazing how you can love someone so instantaneously. It's like holding your newborn for the first time. You just see them and know in your heart they are yours and are just in awe of them. That God made this beautiful child and is entrusting us (in all our weakness) to not only meet their physical needs but to lavish love on them in a way that points them to God. It's such an awesome responsibility and an incomparable feeling. While J and F are coming into our family by a different means, we are just as much in awe and in love with them. I know bonding and attachment take a while on their part, but for me, it is love at first sight and I am all in! Just seeing the need in their eyes for parents to cherish and care for them, makes me so eager to rise to the task. No matter how challenging it will be. 

We left just as the new group of 5 siblings showed up, looking very frightened. Seeing them helped me to imagine how our children might have been when they arrived, only two months ago. So much for someone so little to go through. While we were encouraged to see where they live and who is caring for them, we pray the months are few before they can come home and we can lavish love and attention on them.

Having the blessing of visiting with two families who were there to pick up their kids, showed us what just a couple weeks can do for a child. Their personality comes out with the security of needs being consistently met; attention, encouragement, and affection constantly given. I can't wait to devote that time and attention to J and F and see their full personalities come out and to see them truly thriving, not merely surviving. And to see their brothers embrace them and welcome them into our family. They pray for J and F at every meal and before bed every night. And they even pray for families for all the other children at that orphanage who desperately need loving families. 

Since we can't show off pictures yet online of how amazingly beautiful J and F are (I might give sneak peeks to those who are really interested and send me an email), you'll have to settle for our cheesy pictures of giant avocado infatuation and mosquito tent beds.

Mosquitos are BAD in Congo. And since we didn't have time to get on anti-malaria drugs before this trip, we were so grateful for this baby! I'm loving it and seriously going to hunt for one for our bed at home. Dengue fever is the big one here and it's impossible to put screens on our windows. 

OH Man! I was so excited to see these babies! I miss avocados and Guacamole Dinner's (hola Cindy Ortiz!) so much! This baby made 3 sandwiches and would have made a fourth if I could have handled another one.

My handsome hubs chowing his avocado sandwich. That's right, that's how we roll in Congo- where the food prices are INSANE! We ate a lot of PB&J and bananas too. 

Congo Trip Part 1 (Written on Wednesday)

We left our city just after 6pm Monday evening to embark on the 4 hour trip to Mumbai airport. Praise God, there wasn’t any major traffic along that highway which is known for them at night. It was a good thing we got there early, because checking our bags and going through immigration was not a quick process. We were fortunate enough to ignorantly get into the Business Class/Diplomatic section of immigration which sped the process up by a whole 2 minutes and put us in line with a big Bollywood celebrity, Anil Kapoor (Who wants to be a Millionaire? guy from Slum Dog Millionaire). I think of everyone there, I was the most unashamedly star struck! I fought back wanting to ask all the posh people around me “do you know who that is?” You would think that would have clued us in that we were in the wrong line, but no, it didn’t. Maybe it’s the American in me that thinks I belong everywhere.  It also explains why the immigration official gave me several dirty looks, which I thought were totally undeserved, until he gave Kit a few rude remarks as well. If any of you have traveled in India (Delhi doesn’t count), you’ll understand why it’s hilarious that any official would think it is obvious which ‘line’ we should get into. No signs, no lines--unless you count slowly pushing and shoving your way to the front a ‘line’.  Just utter chaos and masses of people. Ah…I digress…

 

We had a great trip from Mumbai to Nairobi and then Nairobi to Kinshasa. It’s amazing how easy traveling seems when your kiddos aren’t with you. We would have had a totally different experience if the whole Klein crew came. It was tough to leave them for so long, but we’re grateful for the time we are having with each other and that we’ll have with our soon-to-be newest Klein crew members. Just from the airport, Kenya looks beautiful!! We would love to come back for a real visit sometime. Clear beautiful skies, dew on the fresh morning grass, cool air…it reminded me of a spring morning in central Texas (where I grew up).

 

The flight to Kinshasa was only 3 hours and we napped and got our second breakfast on. The Congo is huge geographically and Kinshasa is on the far west side, bordering Rep. of Congo and Anogola.  It’s not far from the Atlantic Ocean. In this part of the Congo, it’s like rolling grasslands (with palm trees scattered) with the great Congo River snaking along the border. It’s beautiful!! And I’m sure the rainforest areas are even more amazing. I was pretty nervous about the airport experience in Kinshasa from what I’ve read. But really, it was fine. It was a lot like Indian airports, but with lines J I know leaving is a bit more complicated but we’ll be hiring a protocol to help us through that process. We had some miscommunication with our agency, so no one was there to pick us up. But it ended up being totally fine. We didn’t panic, we had an address for where we were going and bought a local SIM card at the airport. All we had to navigate was bartering with a taxi to take us where we needed to go for a reasonable amount of money. Thankfully we are used to negotiating (albeit not in French as we know nothing!) and a really sweet man agreed to take us for $30 rather than the $100 the first guy was shooting for (and holding our luggage ransom in his truck in the meantime).

 

There is not any public transit in The Congo, and even the taxis are basically individual guys with run down cars and a plastic taxi sign they put up and take down before they drive. It’s hard to describe what it’s like here. Driving from the airport to downtown reminded us of Bolivia. It’s very underdeveloped. (Comparable to smaller cities in India). The number one transportation are your two feet, so people seem to be everywhere. Men, pushing and pulling heavy loads, women carrying impressive loads on their head. The people are all dressed nicely, are lively, and very friendly. Ironically that has been the biggest culture shock we’ve had, coming from India. Everyone greets you, even in passing on the street, with a “Bonjour!” Living conditions seem very modest. There is hardly a middle class to speak of here. And it seems that the people are not only subject to poor wages but insanely inflated prices. I would love for an economist to explain to me the dichotomy here. DRC is the richest country in the world in terms of natural resources. But by living standards and GDP, it is one of the poorest. We are staying at a Catholic Mission in the downtown, right across the street from the US Embassy. There is a super market just around the corner as well, where we can get anything we would want or need (kind of a Walmart-type store but a little fancier). But it’s only where tourists/diplomats/foreigners shop. A bag of chips is $7. A box of granola bars is $12. And on it goes…I should have brought more snacks with us. Lesson learned for next time. Even the local produce is high compared to India, but we managed to buy some bananas, bread, and massive avocados for reasonable prices. Our translator said that even eating out local style is too expensive for most people. Even the meals at the mission are $15 per adult. So, we’re getting creative and enjoying lots of PB&J’s and avocado sandwiches (which are a huge treat for us!).

 

The whole reason for coming is to meet our kiddos. Unfortunately, today was a holiday so it wasn’t possible to travel out to the orphanage. It’s a 1.5 hour trip each way. So after our 13 hour sleep last night, we ventured off to walk around downtown this morning. It’s not safe or culturally appropriate to take pictures here. But we’ll be able to at the orphanage tomorrow. We can’t wait to meet them! We’ve been trying to just relax and enjoy some R&R today. We’ve enjoyed getting to know two other families who are here picking up their kids. They’ve been a wealth of information for us. We were also able to meet the social worker who brought our children into the orphanage and that was pretty awesome! He’s a great guy and gave us a lot more info about our kids, their background, and their personalities. It was pretty priceless. We’re praying our kiddos will understand that we love them and that we are coming back for them. Parents usually come only to pick up their kids and it could be 6-12 months before we are able to come back and bring them home for good. So please pray with us for understanding for our kids and for a speedier process than is currently projected. We get to go meet them tomorrow!!! It’s the best early Mother’s Day gift ever!