One major area of my walk with God that has been tested and stretched the last few years has been that of faith. I'm not talking about my faith in Jesus as my Savior, but the kind of faith that in the face of affliction or trials, doesn't waver or doubt. I've always seen my husband as a great man of faith. It seems to come easy for him. And it's true, it is a spiritual gift, so some seem to have stronger faith than others, but I know it's a gift that can be given in increasing measure through growth in our relationship with the Lord. And I have yearned for my faith to grow for years. So how does our faith grow? Through God giving us ample opportunities to be faithful and believe in Him. Such opportunities are rarely painless or easy. And boy has He given me a lot of opportunities in the last few years.
Perhaps the most difficult faith challenge is the one we are currently going through, but our adoption process has been one of those prime opportunities to show the genuineness of my faith. I am encouraged to see how He has changed me through my "warm up" faith challenges in the past. Losing my mom, when I was only 21 was kind of the ultimate faith challenge for me. Having came through that, by the grace of God, with my faith intact--I have more of a resolve to default to faith, rather than my former default to panic and doubt. Various trials and opportunities to believe God have only deepened my faith that He not only CAN do miracles and hears us, but that He DOES STILL do miracles and answer us. The answer I have received after months of fervent prayer has not always been the one I sought; but a few times it has not only been what I asked for, but Abundantly Beyond all that I asked or thought of.
My preferred way to pray is to journal--to God. I'm not a very articulate person but with paper in hand and a pen, my heart and mind seem to pour out more fluently. I also love letters. And seeing The Word, as God's love letter to us, I like to respond in kind. My prayer journal this last year and a half has been full of miracle type requests. I've seen Him answer in the sweetest ways concerning our adoption and I am holding on to those answered prayers as Ebenezer Stones (1 Samuel 7:12) to remind me when moments of fear and doubt creep in that, "Thus far the Lord has helped us."
We are two months in to the "court process" of our adoption journey. And to be honest, the waiting is far from painless or easy. The next update we get, could be the one that says, "F&J are legally yours!" It's kind of like the moment you anxiously await to see your baby's heart beat and all their intricate details on that ultrasound monitor. While we have already had the joy of meeting our kids, they are not yet officially "ours." I long to read those words that legally makes us the mom and dad of two more precious children. I long for the confirmation that they are indeed close to coming home. That this dream we've prayed for and longed for is going to come true.
There are so many sad adoption stories out there of lost referrals and the heart ache which comes with it. So many that can cause my mind to dwell on fears and anxiety and "what ifs". But I'm striving to hold onto those Ebenezer Stones and keep my eyes on my Great God, who can do far more abundantly beyond all that I ask or imagine (Eph.3:20). And who works all things together for the good of those who love Him and who have been called according to His purpose. (Rom.8:28) Please pray with us that we'll keep this kind of faith and that it will grow ever increasingly as the days pass by. And please pray with us for the Lord to continue to do miracles in our adoption process and blow us away, once again, with His goodness. We know He has called us to this, and He who has called us is faithful to complete it. (1Thess.5:24)
Perhaps the most difficult faith challenge is the one we are currently going through, but our adoption process has been one of those prime opportunities to show the genuineness of my faith. I am encouraged to see how He has changed me through my "warm up" faith challenges in the past. Losing my mom, when I was only 21 was kind of the ultimate faith challenge for me. Having came through that, by the grace of God, with my faith intact--I have more of a resolve to default to faith, rather than my former default to panic and doubt. Various trials and opportunities to believe God have only deepened my faith that He not only CAN do miracles and hears us, but that He DOES STILL do miracles and answer us. The answer I have received after months of fervent prayer has not always been the one I sought; but a few times it has not only been what I asked for, but Abundantly Beyond all that I asked or thought of.
My preferred way to pray is to journal--to God. I'm not a very articulate person but with paper in hand and a pen, my heart and mind seem to pour out more fluently. I also love letters. And seeing The Word, as God's love letter to us, I like to respond in kind. My prayer journal this last year and a half has been full of miracle type requests. I've seen Him answer in the sweetest ways concerning our adoption and I am holding on to those answered prayers as Ebenezer Stones (1 Samuel 7:12) to remind me when moments of fear and doubt creep in that, "Thus far the Lord has helped us."
We are two months in to the "court process" of our adoption journey. And to be honest, the waiting is far from painless or easy. The next update we get, could be the one that says, "F&J are legally yours!" It's kind of like the moment you anxiously await to see your baby's heart beat and all their intricate details on that ultrasound monitor. While we have already had the joy of meeting our kids, they are not yet officially "ours." I long to read those words that legally makes us the mom and dad of two more precious children. I long for the confirmation that they are indeed close to coming home. That this dream we've prayed for and longed for is going to come true.
There are so many sad adoption stories out there of lost referrals and the heart ache which comes with it. So many that can cause my mind to dwell on fears and anxiety and "what ifs". But I'm striving to hold onto those Ebenezer Stones and keep my eyes on my Great God, who can do far more abundantly beyond all that I ask or imagine (Eph.3:20). And who works all things together for the good of those who love Him and who have been called according to His purpose. (Rom.8:28) Please pray with us that we'll keep this kind of faith and that it will grow ever increasingly as the days pass by. And please pray with us for the Lord to continue to do miracles in our adoption process and blow us away, once again, with His goodness. We know He has called us to this, and He who has called us is faithful to complete it. (1Thess.5:24)
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